


Absolute Zero

by SburbanMom



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dadster, Human AU, LMAO, M/M, Underage Drinking, alphydyne, does ao3 have a tag limit, except theyre humans, hopefully this is decently written, lets hope not, mettaton is a fucking dickhead, nicepants - Freeform, nobody dies or anything, papyrus is a sweet and pure baby, papyton, tainted by mettatons sinful robot fingers, undyne is the hot captain of the football team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5309420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SburbanMom/pseuds/SburbanMom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Highschool sucks a lot of ass. </p><p>For Papyrus and Mettaton, it sucks for different reasons. For one, you're a socially repressed child star, and for the other, you're too damn nice to notice when the other wants to ruin your life.</p><p>Or project his issues on to you. That too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Start!

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my betas, Declan and Mara. You guys are the real MVPs.
> 
> My tumblr:  
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com (Always open for fic and art requests, pop by if you like my work)
> 
> My betas' tumblrs:
> 
> bakingsexual.tumblr.com  
> tabbyfeathers.tumblr.com
> 
> This fic is, arguably, still in beta? We'll just see what happens, but for now, enjoy!

Mettaton was a name that anyone would know. Child star and teenage heartthrob, oh, he was rolling in riches and confessions. He was the primary expert in playing hard to get, rejecting confessions, the like. On the surface, he was the penultimate popstar with a radiant and warm personality to match. People saw him as the luckiest man alive.

Papyrus Gasteur saw him as the loneliest.

Papyrus wasn’t popular in the same way Mettaton was, but everyone that met him loved him. He was determined. He was friendly. He always saw the best in someone, no matter the case. Becoming friends with him was almost a given upon meeting the tall, well-composed and somewhat loud teen. Some said that a smile never left his angular features, like a permanent fixture of bright teeth and eyes that had the power to grin on their own. If anyone could be considered an expert on the art of being happy, it was doubtlessly Papyrus Gasteur. 

Thus followed the meeting of the two.

It was a gentle twilit winter afternoon, out on the school pavilion where teens gathered in fair weather and tensionless times. Muffet Aranale sold baked goods from a purple lunch bag while some of the kindergarteners from the local elementary school dashed in circles, chasing each other with sticks and yelling about monsters. Papyrus had found himself and his brother Sans leaned against one of the rocky encampments beside each other. They were originally supposed to be garden beds, but found themselves stifled in the cold Snowdin weather. They had quickly realized their inevitable kill-or-be-killed fates as tough-soiled seating circles, and now invited conversation instead of flowers. Sans handed Papyrus half of an orange, listening politely to his enthusiastic younger brother.  
“-The Porsche! I was reading about their new plans for this season’s releases, some of the upcoming designs have imported seats, it’s really pretty high-end stuff-”  
“Yoohoo!”   
Papyrus paused his story and turned with puppy-like curiosity towards the sound of the voice, while Sans just sighed. “Boy, oh boy. Here comes Mr. Bigshot and his gang.”  
Sure enough, it was a glamorous boy with side swept fringe that looked too well-placed to be real and long, slender calves that met his body in knockout thighs. He was accompanied by what looked like two Harajuku wannabes, one with curly blonde hair and the other with a blue and black undercut and huge hoop earrings. The fourth member of their party was a neurotic looking ginger boy of an unimpressive stature.  
“Saaaaaaaaaaaaans!” The glamorous one drawled. “How have you BEEN?”  
Papyrus glanced from person to person. Normally, when Sans was doing “business”, he was asked to leave. But Sans wasn’t motioning or anything. In fact, he just looked annoyed with the other.   
The glamorous one seemed to get tired of waiting for a response.   
“I was just wondering…” He enunciated each syllable of the word, flipping his hair on the last syllable with a cheeky smile. “...had you considered my request?”  
“My girlfriend isn’t modeling for your stupid show, Mettaton.”  
Mettaton’s face turned downwards in an instant, the whole of his expression darkening into something theatrical by nature but genuinely intimidating. “Well, haven’t you asked her?”  
“She said no, Mettaton.”   
“Did she?” Mettaton pursed his lips just a tad, eyes flickering to Papyrus. He could physically feel the weight of the other’s gaze, and he cocked a shoulder just to shake it, which made Mettaton smile mischievously.  
“Well then, how about this young man over here? What’s your name?”  
The predatory nature of Mettaton’s voice didn’t phase the taller. If anything, it gave the air of a friendly invitation to the younger Gasteur.  
“Papyrus! Papyrus Gasteur!” He held out a band-aid covered hand to be shaken, but was brushed off entirely.  
“Papyrus! Oh, what a lovely name!” Snickers erupted from the two girls behind Mettaton. “Say, Papyrus, since your brother is such a stickler…”   
“He’s not interested, Mettaton.” Sans growled, taking a hold of Papyrus’ wrist and tugging him up. “You and your crew should really hit the road.”  
“Well, let the man answer, Sans, he’s got his own-”  
“I said hit the road.”  
Mettaton puffed up his chest indignantly. “Listen here. I didn’t get this far to be threatened by someone half my size. You’ll let him give me an answer or-”  
“Mettaton, y-you’re not winning any b-battles here, you should just-”  
“Quiet, Burgerpants!” Mettaton snapped at the ginger. He cowered into his hoodie, bristling like a cat.  
At that point, Sans had begun dragging Papyrus away, mumbling under his breath about how much he hated that prick. Papyrus watched the boy curiously over his shoulder as they walked away.


	2. It's not like I have emotions or anything, b-baka...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha lmao these are short chaps sorry   
> at least it'll be easier to mark off where you finished?

“I don’t think he’s very happy.” Papyrus remarked, shoveling a few forkfuls of homemade spaghetti into his mouth. Sans glanced up at him and cocked an eyebrow.   
“Who cares?”  
“I care!” Papyrus replied forcefully, passionately forking spaghetti into his maw at a speed unmatched by even the great spaghettores of old. “Why should someone have to lead a sad life when they could lead a glad one instead? I just don’t think it’s right.”  
“Look, he’s famous, he’s an asshole, he’s got all the friends he needs.”  
“I don’t think he does.”  
“Those aren’t really opinions, Paps, they’re objective fact.”  
“I think he’s lonely. He seems lonely.”  
“Well, whatever, Paps, whatever you say.” Sans shoved his plate aside and stood. “I think I’m done. I’m gonna go call dad and ask him when he’ll be home.”  
“Founds good!” Papyrus responded with his mouth full, earning him a dirty look and prompting him to swallow. “Sounds good, I mean. Tell him I said hi and that I got a B on my Physics lab.”  
“I’m sure he’ll be excited to know that, Paps, I’ll let him know.”  
With that, Papyrus was left to finish his meal with only the company of the fridge’s buzzing and his own thoughts.

At school the next day, people were milling around the cast list in the back hallway of the drama department. Papyrus had to fight his way through the crowd just to get to class, and on his way, he bumped into the boy he remembered from Mettaton’s posse.   
“Hey!” He greeted with a smile. “You were with Mettaton yesterday, right?”  
The kid started as he glanced at Papyrus. “Uh, yeah, I guess. You’re P-Papyrus, right?”  
“Yep!” He smiled at the other with that trademark grin. “Whatcha looking at?”  
“Uh, n-nothing.”  
A tall boy with blue, sweeping hair pushed through the crowd with a joyful grin. “Jack, you did it! You’re on the list!”  
The ginger’s eyes widened and he grinned. “Yesssss! This is it… my big break!”   
The taller boy beamed at the smaller and ruffled his hair. “I knew you could do it. Let’s get ice cream after school to celebrate.” It was then that he noticed Papyrus, grinning stupidly at the odd couple.   
“Hey, Paps! What’s up?”  
Papyrus shrugged and gave a small smile. “Nothing much! How about you, Nick?”  
Nick gave a wink, tossing an arm around the stouter fellow, who quickly flushed with every hue in the rose side of the Crayola Box. Papyrus grinned a little at the sight and gave Jack’s shoulder a pat before heading off and leaving the two to their endeavors.  
At his locker, Papyrus noticed some mumbling from a couple lockers over. Glancing through the slats, he saw it was actually coming from the closely pursed lips of Mettaton, clutching a sheet of paper in his hand and seemingly agitated.  
“They think- they have the nerve to- I didn’t-” His eyebrows were furrowed so deeply Papyrus swore they would have dented his nose.  
“Mettaton, right?”  
He was met with an icy glare that softened a little upon seeing him. “I’m busy.”  
“Oh, sorry. You just seemed agitated.”  
“I am!” Mettaton exclaimed, slapping the paper with the back of his hand in annoyance. “They’re telling me- They’re saying I can’t… They said I’m not allowed to be in the play. Because of my status, it’s ‘unfair to my fellow students’.” His voice broke a little. “Theatre is my passion. They can’t do this.”  
Papyrus was quiet, thinking of something to say. Mettaton seemed to look at him. “Aren’t you going to get upset? This is an outrage.”  
“Well, I can see both sides of this. But I know you’re probably pretty upset, right? Highschool drama, you get all the fun of acting with none of the crazy Hollywood stuff. And you miss that feeling of acting to act.”  
Mettaton looked at him and crumpled the note in his hand. “You’re wrong. I love my job, and I don’t need to take your word for things. You’re nothing compared to me. I’m a star!”  
Before Papyrus could say another word, the other stalked off angrily, leaving Papyrus stunned and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pop by my tumblr, sburban-mom, if you like my garbage (but like, it's good garbage. like, really good garbage.)


	3. Undyne isn't wearing pants in this chapter

Mettaton collapsed in bed and pressed his hand to his eyes in anguish. This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t right. Mettaton Neoex, superstar, ladykiller, talent extraordinaire. He deserved this part. He deserved the chance to be in this.  
“You miss that feeling of acting to act.”  
“You’re wrong.” He repeated to himself, pretending that saying it aloud would instantly make it true. But nothing changed.  
Darkness began to fill the room like a fog. He hadn’t hit the lights on the way in. Now he was left to watch twilight melt past the hills.  
“I miss the feeling of acting to act.” He said quietly, to nobody in particular, burying his face in the pillow as he felt the adrenaline seep from his bones.  
“I miss acting.”

Undyne chewed on her oatmeal slowly as Papyrus babbled to her. Their weekly sleepover was underway, their one-on-one time to get talking about events and help each other out. Why was Undyne eating oatmeal? Well, the real question is, why are you spending your free time reading this?  
As usual, Papyrus had commenced the meeting with some long-winded but good-natured speech about human nature and the progression of relationships. Undyne nodded vigorously at every point, punctuating his more passionate moments with gap-toothed grins and a triumphant “yeah!”.  
Once Papyrus had settled a little, Undyne sat up and tugged her fluffy, clearly well loved fleece blanket over her shoulders.   
“Alright, so I’ve got some important news!”  
“Do tell, Undyne!”  
The muscular girl grinned wide. “Alphys finally opened up to me! I mean, I knew it would take a while, she’s so reserved, but she’s been so nice lately. I think she really needed a friend.”  
“Aww, Undyne! That’s really nice of you!”  
“Aw, shucks, Papyrus, thanks, but it’s not really me. We’ve been talking a lot more lately, and she’s really cute. We compared tooth gaps. Hers is wider, but she says mine looks better with my features. I don’t really agree, but y’know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  
“I think you’re both adorable.” Papyrus said definitively. That made Undyne chuckle.  
“Well, thanks. Anyways, how about you? You haven’t given me any updates yet!”  
Papyrus shrugged with a small laugh. “There’s not much to update on! Sans got some new shirts on sale down at the Kmart on fifth, and my dad’s got a huge thesis going that he’s been busy with. As for me, I haven’t done much. I think I might have made a new friend, but I’m not really sure? He’s kind of a cagey dude.”  
“Who is he?” Undyne’s spoon made a metallic sound as it scraped against the basin of her oatmeal bowl. “Do I know him?”  
“Everybody else seems to, except me, I guess. His name’s Mettaton.” Papyrus sighed nonchalantly.  
“Mettaton? Dude, the Mettaton?” Undyne slammed her bowl down. “Papyrus, that guy’s been on the cover of People magazine, and you don’t know him?”  
“I don’t read tabloids?” Papyrus offered weakly. Undyne threw her head back and let out a hearty laugh.  
“Papyrus, being friends with that guy means about as much as owning a lock of Oprah Winfrey’s hair. He’s untouchable. All that niceness and stuff? Don’t be fooled, dude, it’s an act, just like everything else.”  
“I saw him today, after school! He actually seemed really upset. They won’t let him be in the school play because they consider it unfair, because he’s famous or whatever.”  
“Mettaton, upset? He’ll just pay the superintendent or something.”  
“I don’t think that’s what it’s really about, Undyne.”  
“Papyrus, as usual, you have a heart of gold.” Undyne’s expression softened. “But maybe you should let Mettaton be.”  
“I think he needs a friend.”  
Undyne laughed, her signature singular ‘HA!’.   
“Mettaton’s got all the friends he could ever want!”  
“Yeah, well, maybe it’s not about quantity! Maybe it’s about quality!”  
“Didn’t you used to say you wanted everyone to be your friend, and that you wanted to wake up to a shower of kisses every single morning?”  
“I was a freshman! What do you want from me?”  
“Look, you can try to make friends with Mettaton, but don’t expect it to end well.” Undyne’s expression relaxed considerably as she stared into her empty oatmeal bowl. “And try not to get hurt, yeah? Or I’ll beat him up!”  
“Don’t do that!”  
“I’ll make a bet! If he hurts you, I get to beat him up!”  
“That’s not a bet, that’s a threat!”  
“Aw, same thing! C’mere, you big baby!”  
The two of them laughed as Undyne tackled her best friend in an impromptu hug, starting the sleepover off with a nice tone, albeit a somewhat tentative one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *blows you a kiss* 
> 
> hey... sweetheart... love of my life... check out my sweet tumblr...
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com
> 
> i love you babe


	4. I found some cool swords online I wanted you to buy for me

Papyrus found that he didn’t even have to go looking for Mettaton the next day. The glamorous teen was leaned up against Pap’s locker, tapping away at his phone with a sour look on his face.  
“Hello, Mettaton! Good morning!” Papyrus said with his usual infectious grin and confident demeanor. The other teen glanced up somewhat annoyedly.  
“Yes? Something you need?”  
“Uh, well, you’re leaned up against my locker.”  
“Your- oh. Mine is two down this way.” He mumbled the words, turning a little pink. “Whatever.”  
“Could I get my stuff?”  
“Do you need it?”  
“Yes?”  
“Well, then wait a little bit. I’m busy.” Mettaton spat. He knew it was rude, but something about Papyrus rubbed him the wrong way. He was just too nice.   
“Alright!”  
That just worsened the other’s mood. He tapped even harder, face concentrating on the screen. Papyrus stood awkwardly beside him, waiting for him to move.   
“So, um, how was your evening?”  
“Fine.” He didn’t mean to answer. Fuck.  
“That’s good! Do anything interesting? I went to stay with my friend Undyne. She’s really nice. She’s the captain of the football team.”  
“Mmhm. Wonderful.”  
“She says her crush has been opening up to her lately, which is good! I’m glad that’s happening. I used to have a crush on that one guy from Titanic.”  
“What, Leo DiCaprio?”   
“No, actually! The dark haired one, the fiance.”  
“Well then, seems you’ve got a thing for dark haired assholes.” Mettaton mumbled. Papyrus glanced at him. “What?”  
“Well, you’re hanging around me. You’re gonna confess your love or something.”  
“Well, actually, I thought you seemed lonely and could use a friend. I don’t know if I really want to date you. Also, I need to get into my locker.”  
“I’m not lonely, I have plenty of friends.” Why did he feel the need to act like this around Papyrus? Where had his pretty-boy crowd-pleaser personality flown to?  
“Well, sure, but it’s not about how many you have. It’s about how good they are. And I mean, not to be intrusive, but is Jack, or either of those girls really your friends?”  
“Who’s Jack?”  
“The ginger boy, you know, the one you were with the other day?”  
“Oh, Burgerpants. I didn’t know he had a name.”  
“Yeah, it’s Jack.” Papyrus was quiet for a second. “Is he dating Nick?”  
“Nick?”  
“The boy with the pastel blue hair.”  
“He sounds familiar.”  
“He works at the ice cream place downtown.”  
“Do I look like I know any of these people?”  
“Well, that’s what I mean. How well would you even know all these friends of yours?”  
“Would you please leave already?”  
“Well, I need to get into my locker, so…”  
Mettaton rolled his eyes and stood up straight, standing off to the side a bit. “There. Are you happy?”  
“Well, I’m usually pretty happy, honestly. Are you alright?”  
“I’m fine.” Mettaton snapped.   
“I won’t push you, but if you aren’t, it’s okay to talk about it!”  
“I don’t need to talk about anything.” He glanced at the door of Papyrus’ locker, which was covered in photos and clippings. “What are those?”  
“Oh, these?” Papyrus smiled. “Things that make me happy! Here’s some pictures of me and Undyne at the amusement park on her birthday last year, when we got matching capes… and this is my brother, Sans. These are some articles about my dad. He’s a famous scientist, so he’s not home a whole lot, but I’m really proud to be his son. He’s super smart, and when he comes home he always makes sure to spend time with Sans and I. He’s gonna be home in a week, actually, I can’t wait.”  
Mettaton stared at the door for a while, not speaking. Papyrus stood, books in hand as he closed his locker and spun the lock back to zero.  
“So, uh, did you want to go back to leaning against the lockers? Class starts in just a couple minutes.”  
Mettaton just sighed and turned on his heel. “I’m leaving. Enjoy your classes.”  
Papyrus smiled. “You too!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get a load of that robot
> 
> hey go follow my tumblr for updates on new fics and like, continuations of this one. not chapter continuations, but like. fic spinoffs.
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com


	5. gee mettaton how come your mom lets you have TWO paragraphs

Mettaton didn’t go to class. Hell, he skipped out entirely, and went to hang out back, in the little courtyard that the horticulture club had been trying in vain for years to tame. He tugged out his phone, already at 20%, and scrolled through all the unanswered emails from his agent. Part of him wanted to just delete all of them and forget, lie down in the cold, dry grass and stare up at the late autumn sun. He knew that would just get him in more trouble though. Papyrus. Oh, sweet Papyrus. It drove him up a wall, how cheerful that kid was. What could he possibly have? The kid wore hand me downs and had one good friend. So then what was it?  
The teen twirled a strand of long, untamed hair around his finger, staring at it as he held it up to the sun. You could almost tell the natural dirty brown beneath the heavy layers of ink-black hairdye, done by that sweet woman in New York, the old one with the soft hands who told Mettaton she liked his ears and thought they were cute.   
She was like Papyrus. Sweet. Just so sickeningly sweet that it made his stomach hurt a little. But it was okay that she was like that, because she was old and experienced. Papyrus was clearly naieve, and unaware of how cruel the world really was.  
So, logically, it was Mettaton’s job to show him.  
He sat up, the answer suddenly becoming quite clear. If he wanted to find his peace, he had to get Papyrus to break. He had to get him angry, or upset. Knock that stupidly positive smile from his face. Teach him that people weren’t as nice and good as he liked to think. Life sucked, and clearly he didn’t get that yet.  
He needed to get Papyrus to stop. To hit his breaking point. To hit absolute zero.

This was an acting job fit for someone of his caliber for sure.

After school, Papyrus once again found Mettaton leaning against his locker, though this time it was with a huge grin and no phone. “Papyrus! Good to see you!”  
Papyrus smiled. “Hiya, Mettaton! Are you in a better mood? You’ve changed, huh?”  
“I sure have. I wanted to know if you’d like to grab some lunch with me!”  
“Uh, yeah, that sounds alright! I should tell Sans, though…”  
“Oh, don’t worry about him, I’ll let him know.” Mettaton smiled. “Just come on!”  
Shoving his phone into his pocket, he dragged a bewildered Papyrus through the hallway. Heads were turning, whispers were being exchanged. Was Mettaton hanging out with Papyrus? The usual gossip would spread, Mettaton thought. Nothing he couldn’t handle. The same had come about when he started hanging out with Bratty and Catty.   
Throughout lunch, Mettaton tried everything he could. Spilling soda on the other, “forgetting” his wallet, taking a wrong turn and ending up an hour late to drive Papyrus home. Nothing. The boy just smiled, made a joke of things, apologized, it didn’t matter what Mettaton did, the kid seemed utterly untouchable.   
By the time they’d made it back to Papyrus’ house, Mettaton was worn out.   
“Thanks for lunch!” Papyrus said cheerfully. “That was lots of fun!”  
“Fantastic, darling.” He said, the deadpan edging into his voice. Whatever. So it wasn’t an easy break. Mettaton was a certifiable expert in being a dick. He could figure it out.  
Regardless of his prowess in being an asshole, that didn’t erase the fact that he felt a little good when Papyrus smiled at him and waved from the porch as his brother let him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> papyrus you sweet egg noodle, you
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com is where the cool hoes hang out
> 
> are you a cool hoe


	6. make love to something innocent

Papyrus was glowing all night and the next day at school. Mettaton, on the other hand, was plotting. Bratty and Catty were first to notice.  
“You’re like totally-”  
“-WEIRD and SILENT, Metty. What’s up with that?”  
Mettaton glanced at them. “Mmh, nothing! Just thinking!”  
“We heard you went to lunch with-”  
“-PAPYRUS. As in the Gasteur kid. Is it-”  
“-true? Is he gonna be our-”  
“-new BFF?”  
Mettaton chuckled somewhat darkly. “Oh, no, absolutely not.”  
“Then what’s the deal?” Bratty asked, twirling her blonde hair around one finger and smacking her lips. “He your next fake boyfriend?”  
“God, no.” Mettaton rolled his eyes. “I’m going to break him.”  
“Huh?” Catty squinted. “What’s that s'posed to mean?”  
“I’m going to upset him, somehow. He’s too damn positive. It’s awful.”  
“And why’s that gotta be your problem?”  
Mettaton turned, surprised. “Did someone ask you, Burgerpants?”  
Jack’s fists were clenched. “He’s- He’s-”  
“Well, finish your sentences like a big boy then.”  
“He’s a really good person!”  
Mettaton narrowed his eyes. “That’s the point. It’s awful.”  
“No! He was nice to me, without even knowing me! And- And Nick says he’s really cool, and that he buys ice cream, even in the winter, when their shop is doing badly! And that he invites them over for dinner, and petsits their rabbit! Why do you have to be such a dick?” Jack was tearing up a little. Mettaton scowled.  
“You don’t like it, you can leave.”  
Jack’s lip quivered before he scowled and sat back, tugging a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it with shaky hands.  
“Hey, Burgerpants, pass that once you’ve had a drag!”  
“Me too!”  
“But I-”  
Mettaton left the others to argue as he let things come to culmination in his head.

Papyrus was happier than usual that day. He felt as though his plan of befriending Mettaton was really starting to come together. Despite a few setbacks during lunch yesterday, he knew that he was starting to grow on the other. He could only hope that he was making some kind of an impact. Seeing him smile was a nice change. It still felt like the same cold smile, though, with only a little bit of warmth in it. That was troubling. Papyrus was, of course, a master of smiles, and this one was pretty obviously not filled with the kind of genuine affection Papyrus was after. He decided that the stakes must be upped. It was the only way. He had to devise the most diabolical plan to get a genuine smile out of Mettaton. But he was the great Papyrus, and if anyone could make the man smile, gain a friend, and prove Undyne wrong, it was him.   
He began to develop a plan.

Mettaton had thought everything out meticulously. He’d made a graduated list of everything he could possibly do to piss off Papyrus. It started with things as simple as sitting in his seat in class and escalated to literally committing arson (he’d hesitated on the last one, but honestly, after some deliberation, he figured it might actually come to that). List tucked neatly into his pocket, he approached the gangly teen after school in the pavilion, where he was typing away at his laptop.   
“Boo!” He said, slamming his hands down on the other’s shoulders. Papyrus gasped, his computer bouncing off his leg and nearly hitting the ground. He hardly managed to catch it. “Mettaton! Hello! Sorry, I didn’t notice you!”  
Mettaton had a small mental deflation at the knowledge that near- destruction of personal property wasn’t gonna do anything to piss him off. He really needed to amp this up if he was gonna hit the breaking point.  
“That’s alright, darling! It’s no problem at all.” He gave a syrupy grin, the kind usually reserved for producers. It made Papyrus’ face falter and Mettaton knew instantly that Papyrus was going to catch on to his facial cues instantly. He needed to be a really good actor for this.   
This was going to be fun.  
“So, I was thinking… Lunch was fantastic yesterday. Maybe you could come clubbing with me and my friends tonight?” He gave a mischievous grin, crafting it perfectly. Papyrus’ eyebrows hopped up.   
“That sounds cool! I don’t really know how Sans would feel about that, though…”  
“He doesn’t have to know.”   
“I mean, sure, but he’s kind of my brother-”  
“Trust me, it’ll be fine!” Mettaton purred. “It’s a friend thing.”  
Papyrus stuttered a little, hesitating and staring at his screen.  
“Y-Yeah, okay, fine.”  
“Sounds fantastic! I’ll pick you up at seven.”  
Papyrus watched him walk away with a worried expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all like 2008 power pop because this fic is officially turning into a 3OH!3 song and all of us are powerless to stop it
> 
> go check out my tumblr, sburban-mom.tumblr.com, for updates on all things homosexual


	7. without leaving my fingerprints out

As promised, seven o’clock rolled around and Mettaton’s sleek Audi pulled up silently in front of the Gasteur household. Papyrus slipped out, discreetly dressed in a tshirt and some jeans. Bratty waved from the back window and Catty grinned wide, audibly cheering. As soon as he climbed in, he felt out of place. Mettaton was sipping at an iced latte, some kind of 2007 power pop blaring from the stereo. In the back, Bratty and Catty were pretty clearly sucking face, while Jack leaned against the window, clearly not wanting to be there.  
The new addition to the car nodded at each member weakly. “Hi, guys!”  
Mettaton gave a soupy grin. “Papyrus! Good to see you. Everyone was worried you’d flake, but I knew you would never!”  
Papyrus nodded and waved gently at Jack. The shorter gave a small half-smile.   
“Anyways, Bratty and Catty are already smashed. I told them to lay off, that there’s no point in getting drunk before the fact. But they ignored me. Anyways, Burgerpants is our designated driver!”  
“Wait… Designated driver? You mean we’re gonna be drinking?”  
“Well, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.” Catty slurred from the back. “Whassamatter, dunno how to have some fun?”  
“-have some fun? Awwwwww, Catty, y’didn’t let me finish that one!”  
“Finish THISUN!” Catty yelped, followed by even more audible kissing noises.  
“Anymore cumstains on that seat and I might have to forego the blacklights I wanted to install.” Mettaton grumbled. Papyrus shifted uncomfortably.  
“Mettaton, I’m not so sure I want to-”  
“NONSENSE.” Mettaton said, grinning wide. “You DO want to be friends, don’t you?”  
Papyrus didn’t say anything the whole way there, and Mettaton hoped to god this was the breaking point.

Once Jack had worked some magic with fake IDs and gotten them in, Mettaton almost immediately ordered a round of drinks. Papyrus finally spoke.  
“Thanks, Mettaton! This is really cool of you, but I’m actually allergic to most forms of alcohol. You guys enjoy!”  
Mettaton’s heart sank.  
So close.  
“Oh, are you sure? This stuff is really good. It’s a lot of fun!”  
“Like I said…” He laughed. “Allergic. Sorry.” He gave a gentle shrug, and Mettaton humphed.   
“Fine, then, more for me.” He stated, downing half a tumbler of some shiny mixed drink.  
Papyrus gazed around. “This seems like an interesting place! Have you been here before?”  
“Of course I have. I don’t go to clubs unless I know them well.” Mettaton muttered.   
Looking out over the crowd, there was an alarming amount of people looking like they were ready to bang then and there.  
“Papyrus, haven’t you ever had fun in your life?”  
“Well, not to be rude, but this isn’t really my idea of fun.”  
“Ugh.” Mettaton downed the rest of the tumbler and grabbed another.  
“Mettaton, maybe that’s not the best-”  
“I want to get very drunk, very fast. That’s why I’m here. To get drunk and make out with someone.”  
Papyrus just sighed and glanced around. The bartender seemed sorry for him, and grabbed him an ice water. Mettaton was on his third drink when Jack finally came over.   
“Um, Papyrus? I noticed you weren’t drinking, and I was kind of wondering, um, Nick’s not feeling well, and-”  
“Say no more!” Papyrus grinned. “I’m sober as a snail, I can take care of everyone. Go be with your boyfriend.”  
“H-He’s n-not! It’s!”  
Papyrus chuckled and patted his shoulder as Jack’s freckles glowed a little.   
“Go help him. I’ve got this.”  
As Jack dashed off, Mettaton chuckled darkly. “You’re so fucking nice. What the fuck? What the fuck-”  
“Mettaton, I think you’ve had a little too much!”  
“I hate it so much. It’s awful. Why’re you so happy? What’s the fucking point? Everything sucks. Nobody cares. Humans are selfish and awful.”  
“I don’t think that’s true at all. Humans are good. We want to make ourselves happy, and make others happy too.”  
“Nobody thinks that except you.”  
“Now, that’s a lie. I’ve met a lot of people.” Papyrus fiddled with his water glass, smiling at the boy next to him. “And I know that everyone’s got the potential to be good. Even those who hurt others.”  
Mettaton stared at him intensely.  
Thoughts were trying to turn in his alcohol-soaked mind, and all he was getting was that Papyrus pissed him off, and that he was really close, and that he could kind of smell his cologne, and that his shirt would look way better on the floor, and-  
Oh. He’d gotten much closer than he expected. Give him a break, he was drunk enough to be processing a little slower than usual. So the fact that he was kissing Papyrus didn’t really register at first.  
Actually, it didn’t register at all until he’d practically climbed on the other.  
Once he’d caught up and his brain had decided to send out emergency signals, he realized that he’d pulled away, and that Papyrus’ face was warm, and that he had a hand halfway up the other’s shirt.   
“Um… Mettaton?”  
“Mmhm?”  
“Are you okay?”  
“Something wrong?”  
“I- I didn’t think you- I’m sorry, I’m just a little…”  
Mettaton lazily cocked his head. “Mmhm.”  
What was he doing? Didn’t he hate this guy’s guts or something? Oh, whatever. It’d been so long since he’d kissed someone like this. So long since he’d felt that pleasant warmth. What it was, he didn’t know, or care, really. He felt nice. Really nice.   
“Can I keep kissing you, Papyrus? You’re sooooo cute.” He grinned.   
Papyrus was dark in the face, or maybe that was the club lighting, Mettaton hardly cared.  
“I mean- I think? Yeah? This is all still a little-”  
“Thank goodness.” He just leaned back in and caught Papyrus’ mouth mid-sentence, the sweetness of the whole thing blowing him away. He just wanted to get all over Papyrus and not leave him be. How could he ever leave him be? He hoped this just kept going forever. He could honestly just do this. Papyrus was warm and kind, and kept forgiving him, over and over. Nobody ever did that for him. Nobody ever told him he was okay. But Papyrus did.  
He liked Papyrus so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get your mind outta the gutter, soldier
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com is the place to be if youre sad and gay and like your vodka made of distilled tears and the dreams of your childhood


	8. sans would kick my ass if he could

When he came to, his head was aching, and there was something warm beside him. His first instinct was that he’d passed out at the bar, but the more he came to, the more he realized he was, in fact, in his own bed. Sunlight was streaming through the bay windows. He could hear his neighbor’s wind chimes clearly in the breeze. As he adjusted, he did some quick checks.   
No coat. Still wearing his clothes from last night. Tucked in, though, sheets and duvet both over him.   
Then there was the issue of what- or more appropriately, who- was next to him.  
He turned his head and caught a tuft of caramel colored hair in his periphery. The second his mind put two and two together, he began to panic.  
How the fuck did Papyrus get in his bed?  
The instant he sat up, he noticed Papyrus open his eyes blearily. He, too, sat up and rubbed his eyes. The other was also dressed in full, jeans and all, with dark purple spots covering his neck and shoulders. Something told Mettaton those were not made by some friendly girl at the bar.  
“Mornin’...” He mumbled, glancing at Mettaton sleepily. “You okay?”  
Mettaton was quiet for a moment, looking the other over.  
“We didn’t have sex, in case you were worried about that. But you tried really hard.” The other joked. “I won’t repeat some of the stuff you said, since I think you’re already pretty weirded out. I guess you’re kind of a blackout drunk?”  
“...yeah.”  
Mettaton and Papyrus stared at each other for a moment.  
“Um, so…”  
“What did I do?”  
Papyrus laughed awkwardly. “It’s a little bit of a tale.”  
“Tell me.”  
The skinnier of the two gave a sigh. “Okay, well, we were at the bar, and you got really drunk. And we were having a conversation, and then you kissed me? And kept kissing me? I mean, I kind of figured you were just super out of it, but you kept saying a bunch of stuff that was like ‘oh, you’re so nice to me, why do you give me second chances, i’m an asshole’ and it was really confusing? Anyways, you were getting super touchy…” He rubbed the hickies on his neck and flinched. “...so I rounded everyone up, found your home addresses on your phones, and got everyone home. I didn’t realize I had no way of getting home, so I asked to borrow a coat so I could walk, and you started crying? So I was like oh no, I can’t let him cry, so I was just gonna stay here until you fell asleep, but then you wanted to cuddle or something-”  
“Alright, okay, okay, I get it.” Mettaton rubbed his forehead. “I hope that’s the truth, since I’ll be finding out in a few hours when my memory starts coming back.”  
“I kind of left out the part about you trying to jump me in the car, but…”  
“Oh, god.” Mettaton rested his face in his hands. “Oh my god.”  
“I’m really sorry, I did my best. Um, also, I ran out before I put you to bed to grab some ibuprofen and stuff to help with the hangover, so there’s that, and I could probably make breakfast if it would be helpful-”  
“Just go.”  
Papyrus was silent as he nodded, hopping off the bed and scratching the back of his neck.  
“I’m really sorry. I know this is my fault.”  
“Leave.”  
Mettaton felt something in his heart snapping when he heard Papyrus close the door behind him. Fuck. Why couldn’t he just be an asshole and make all of this so much easier?

Papyrus sat silently at the kitchen table.  
Sans was very clearly upset with him. He hadn’t said a word in half an hour. He’d just given his younger brother a coffee and ignored him. Finally, after finishing his drink, Papyrus sighed and decided to speak.  
“Sans, I-”  
“Dad’s gonna be home tomorrow.” Sans mumbled. Papyrus perked up a bit.  
“Really?”  
“Yeah. Says he’ll be home for a whole week this time around.”  
“That’s fantastic!”  
“You’re not going out cavorting with Mettaton while he’s home, I hope.”  
Papyrus’ face fell. “How did you-”  
“What, you thought sucking face with an A-Lister would go unnoticed? Pictures. Everywhere. It’s exploding.” Sans’ voice was hard.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”  
“No, trust me, I know. Papyrus, you’re too damn good-natured to intentionally do something hurtful to me or anyone else. What did he say to you?”  
Papyrus was stunned. “I don’t-”  
“He’s taking advantage of you, and you’re too nice to see it. Nobody knows what he’s doing, but everyone knows he’s doing it.”  
There was another awkward silence.  
“Mettaton Neoex is famously kind of a dick. He doesn’t make friends, he has business partners, he has consorts, he has flings, but he doesn’t have friends. The fact that you think you’re getting anywhere with him is just proof that he’s a spectacular actor.”  
Papyrus slammed his hands down, startling Sans.  
“I learned something last night.”  
Sans just stared at him, brow furrowed.  
“Mettaton is lonely. He doesn’t know he’s lonely, but he is, and I proved it last night. When he was so drunk he couldn’t walk straight, he was thanking me. And crying- he was crying a lot, actually, but that’s not the point. Nobody ever lets him mess up. Nobody lets him learn. Don’t you think that hurts a person?”  
“Papyrus, he’s gonna hurt you if you don’t get out of there.”  
“No, but that’s the thing! He doesn’t have any friends because he’s worried he’ll fuck up and lose them! He doesn’t know how to maintain grace under pressure, Sans.”  
“Sounds like someone swallowed a Hemingway compilation.” His brother grumbled. “Look, I’m gonna say it again- don’t hang around him. Some people are just better off alone.”  
Papyrus clenched his fists. His neck still hurt, the bruises evident to anyone who glanced at him. They felt like a bitter reminder of the person he was trying so hard to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blades are for skatin............... ya dingus
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com (it becomes twice as cool when read in the voice of the mythbusters narrator)


	9. dadster is probably smokin' hot just saying

Mettaton sat in his sunroom, wrapped in a blanket. Alphys was sitting on the other end of the couch, glancing at him occasionally.  
“M-Mettaton, are you alright? You invited me over, but…”  
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Alphys.”  
“U-Um, could I m-maybe get some context?”  
He stared at his hands, the sound of the Noragami opening theme blaring from his TV.  
“Let’s say you thought you hated someone. They seemed fake, and like all they wanted from you was your status. But they didn’t. They were just being nice because that’s who they were.”  
“S-So…”  
“And it made you upset. Because you felt like you didn’t deserve that.” Mettaton laughed softly. “So you just acted like a dick to try and scare them off. This is all hypothetical, remember, darling.”  
“Hypothetical. Okay.”  
“But maybe you weren’t being entirely honest with yourself. And now you feel bad for hurting them, but you also know that you have to finish the job, or be left with some kind of offhanging relationship.”  
Alphys was quiet, picking up the game system controller and pausing the anime they’d begun watching. “M-Mettaton, do you need to talk about this?”  
“I just want your advice, Alphys. You are very smart, after all.”  
“W-Well, um, I would try and talk to them. And maybe apologize?” She scratched her head, a couple strands of tightly coiled curls falling into her face. “...but maybe that’s not an option, huh?”  
Mettaton sighed and gave a gentle chuckle. “Well, I guess there’s not much to be done. I think I’ll have to continue with my original plan of getting them to hate me somehow.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Oh, of course not, dear. But I can give it my best shot.”  
He was going to have to use plan B.*

(*Not the anti-ovulation drug. I don’t think Mettaton had sex in the 24 hours preceding this decision.)

Papyrus got the text as he was lying in bed, listening to music and working on schoolwork. His English book was laid out in front of him, post-its scattered amongst the pages. His phone buzzed and lit up, contrasting sharply with the dim room and causing him to jump a little.

Mettaton-  
hey sweetheart

He narrowed his eyes a little at the odd message, but slid to reply anyway.  
Papyrus: hi!  
Papyrus: how are you feeling? any better?  
Mettaton: much better, thanks cutie ;)  
Papyrus: that’s good to hear.  
Mettaton: so i was wondering.  
Mettaton: i know maybe my behavior last night was a little crude.  
Mettaton: but i meant a lot of what i said, and i was wondering if maybe you'd want to go out more often?  
Mettaton: it doesn't have to be clubs of course  
Mettaton: i guess i'm asking if you'd like to formally date?

Papyrus was stunned. He couldn’t even reply for a minute, trying to let everything process.

Mettaton: Papyrus?  
Papyrus: um, i guess it would be okay!  
Papyrus: as long as you're alright with not starting this whole thing off with more weird makeouts.  
Mettaton: oh of course.  
Mettaton: i just get a little touchy when i'm drunk, my apologies.  
Papyrus: that's okay.  
Papyrus: i’m just pretty sure that if i got any more hickies, sans would throw me through a window.  
Mettaton: you're so funny ;)  
Mettaton: now i've got to get going, but i'll see you at school?  
Papyrus: yeah, i guess?  
Papyrus: have a nice night!  
Mettaton: oh, i will ;)

Papyrus set his phone down, somewhat perplexed by the amount of winky faces involved in that exchange.  
So he was dating Mettaton now, apparently.  
That didn’t seem too bad. Maybe this was a chance for him to really connect with the other. And dates and stuff sounded kind of nice. Well, as long as they weren’t sucky dates, or dates that involved Mettaton trying to get into his pants again. (Even that didn’t sound so bad, as long as the other wasn’t shit-faced during the exchange.)  
Papyrus just laid back and took a deep breath, trying to focus on getting his head together.  
Sans was not gonna be happy about all this.  
He sighed and climbed out of bed, swinging his legs over the side.  
Dad was home, wasn’t he? Maybe now was a good time to talk to him.  
As he headed downstairs, he noticed his dad was in the kitchen, working at the dining room table. He was puzzling over some papers, his bad eye closed and his good one harboring a furrowed brow.  
Waving to get the other’s attention, Papyrus gave a grin. His dad smiled back, putting down his pen to sign at his son.  
_It’s so good to see you, Papyrus._  
Papyrus nodded.  
_You too, Dad. I really missed you. How are you feeling?_  
 _Not bad. Sans made me some coffee. He said you were working on homework._  
 _Yeah, I am. English homework. We’ve gotta analyze rhetoric in 1984._  
 _Sounds like fun._ His dad gave a crooked smile and patted the chair beside him. _Care for a seat?_  
 _That would be awesome._ Papyrus hugged his dad before plopping down. _Could I get some advice?_  
 _Of course, always. What’s the issue?_  
 _I think I just got asked out by someone. No, I KNOW I got asked out._ Papyrus’ hands faltered as he watched his dad grin.  
So what’s the issue, then? Are they cute?  
_Well, sure. But it’s more that I’m not sure how much they really mean it. They’ve got a lot of issues and I think I might be making it worse somehow._  
 _Why do you say that?_  
 _I’m trying to help them be more honest with themselves, but they’re pretty bad off._  
 _Maybe you just need to trust them a little more then._  
_Papyrus crossed his arms thoughtfully, uncrossing them after a minute to reply._  
 _Do I not trust people?_  
 _No, I think you’re very trustful in humans as a species, son, but your real problem is trusting individuals. Maybe you need to let them hurt you a little for them to learn._  
Papyrus nodded a little and stood to leave.  
_I’ll let you get back to your work. Thanks, dad._  
 _Hope that helped. Go get ‘em._  
With a pat on the back, Papyrus headed back upstairs with a small smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meguca is suffering
> 
> want more suffering? do not throw souls at sburban-mom.tumblr.com


	10. mortaltton combat

For the first few weeks, things went… really well, actually.  
When Papyrus first saw Mettaton leaning against the lockers, he was greeted with a big, genuine-looking smile and a hand to hold. News of the matchup spread quickly, and not many were surprised.  
After all, why wouldn’t the most popular guy in school date the kindest and friendliest one?  
Mettaton was. surprisingly, not an asshole at all. Papyrus would go about his day, and be just as nice as ever, without any sign of inconvenience or upset. Mettaton would dote on him, call him cute, ruffle his hair, kiss him goodbye when he had to run to class. It was almost surreal to Papyrus how quickly Mettaton had shifted. He was really starting to like Mettaton back, too. He got excited about spending time with him, and would even wait for him to get out of class on occasion.   
However, Papyrus couldn't help but be a little suspicious. It was, after all, rather strange that Mettaton had changed his outlook so rapidly - but perhaps the night had been so influential as to force a change on the handsome boy?  
Which, to a point, it actually had. But not quite in the way Papyrus had hoped.

The incident happened on a Friday afternoon. Papyrus had a speech team meeting after school, the first of the year, and Mettaton had stayed after as well. He’d set all the pieces into place. If his calculations were correct (ha, calculations, he had just been monitoring for a few weeks so everything would be perfect), Undyne would show up in just a few minutes to drive Papyrus home after her football practice and his speech meeting.  
Mettaton leaned against the wall outside the room, playing with his cuticles idly. Voices echoed down the hallway, and sure enough, Undyne rounded the corner, waving goodbye to some friends. She was smiling wide as she headed towards the speech room, giving a little nod to Mettaton.   
“Hey, you, sup?”  
He gave a small smirk. “Oh, nothing really. Waiting for my boyfriend to get out of his meeting.”  
Undyne threw her head back with a laugh. “Y’know, you’re all he ever talks about anymore. It’s so annoying! If I wanted to hear about your dumb ass, I’d turn on Access Hollywood.”  
“Aw, is that true? He’s so sweet. But actually, I wanted to talk to you.” He stepped closer, Undyne furrowing her brows. The act was perfect. The lead, taking the stage. The lights were on him. The timing was impeccable, and it had to be perfect.  
“Me? Hell, you don’t even- Oh, is this about Alphys? Look, I promise I’m being-”  
He heard the door to the room open and immediately grabbed the front of Undyne’s shirt, pulling her into the most obnoxious kiss he could possibly muster.  
There was the sound of something dropping as Papyrus’ backpack fell to the ground.  
There were a few seconds of silence as Mettaton pulled away, eyes widening in feigned shock as his hand flew to his lips.  
“Oh, Papyrus, darling! I didn’t realize you were-”  
That’s about all he got out before he felt something like his skull shattering with the force of Undyne’s fist to his jaw.

When he came to, his vision was a little red, and there were faces all around him.  
“Mettaton! Mettaton!”  
Most were whispering. But there was Papyrus, front and center, eyes wide with terror.   
“Mettaton! Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital? Holy shit, who’s the president, Mettaton? Can you spell your name?”  
“Mrrh…”  
“Oh my god, somebody call an ambulance!”  
“He’s fine, Papyrus, look, I took Med Topics and sports med, I’ve got this…”  
That’s the second time he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get fucking rekd mettaton
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com 


	11. the sweetest of cinnamon rolls

When he woke up once again, he was lying on one of the benches in the school hallway, head supported by a hoodie. It was throbbing, and he could tell that there was something on his face. He winced as he dragged a bit off on his fingertips and looked at it. Blood? Oh, so he was bleeding.  
“Mettaton, are you awake?”  
The voice was oddly familiar.  
“Papyrus?”  
“Yeah, it’s me.” He laughed gently. “How are you feeling?”  
Mettaton was still having a hard time remembering what had happened.  
“Hurts.”  
“Yeah, Undyne got you good. She’s got a really crazy right hook. We used to spar, she would-”  
“Undyne punched me?”  
“Oh, yeah. You, um…”  
Mettaton blinked a little. One of his eyes was way too swollen to open. What did he do?  
Oh. Wait. He knew exactly what he’d done.  
“Aren’t you mad?”  
“Oh, no.” Papyrus said quietly.  
“What?”  
“Well, I figured something like this might happen.” He sounded a little choked up, and suddenly, Mettaton felt his throat closing.  
“You figured?”  
“Mmhm. I didn’t think you actually wanted to date me. It was dumb for me to think that you would.”  
Mettaton was quiet. Suddenly, he felt really awful.  
“Papyrus?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why are you still here?”  
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”  
“Even after that?”  
“Well, sure. You were hurt.” Papyrus shrugged. Mettaton could feel him checking his wounds, but he didn’t have the strength to fend off his hand.  
“But I kissed Undyne.”  
“A friend sticks around no matter what, Mettaton. Remember what I said at the bar?”  
“Still don’t remember much of any of that.”  
“I said that every human has the potential to be good. Even the ones who hurt people.”  
“Were you talking about me?”  
“I guess I was, in some roundabout way.”  
“So you’re still not upset with me?”  
“Of course not.”  
Mettaton felt his eyes begin to itch a little, and he rubbed at them, It hurt like a bitch, but he just had to keep rubbing.  
“Mettaton? Are you okay?”  
Tears were beginning to roll down his cheeks. Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck.  
“Just cry it out, you're okay.”  
Papyrus stayed with him until the bout was over.

Monday at school, there was a suspiciously quiet air about everyone. Nobody would even look at Mettaton as he strolled down the hallway, his backpack bouncing against his leg the only sound in the quiet, whisper filled hallway. It was kind of eerie.  
As he began to go through his locker, he noticed Papyrus, surrounded by people just a couple lockers down.  
“Papyrus, I made you some brownies!”  
“Oh, thanks! That’s really cool of you! Um, would you mind if I shared with everyone? I don’t know if I can eat this much!”  
“Papyrus! Hey, I got you some coupons for my parent’s store.”  
“Oh, thanks, Nick! That’s really nice of you! Tell your sister I said hello, and that I have some old Pokemon cards that I found if she wants them!”  
Mettaton glanced over to find that not only were there an assortment of school patrons, but even Jack and the tall, pastel haired boy he was so fond of. Jack was tiredly hanging onto the taller boy’s arm, who was chatting with Papyrus casually. When Jack saw Mettaton staring at them, he frowned and hid behind Nick. Noticing Jack’s distress, he looked over, and his face hardened.  
“Hey, Mettaton, don’t you have somewhere better to be?”  
Mettaton closed his locker, scowling.   
“What’s your damage?”  
“Oh, fuck off, Mettaton.”  
He glanced at each face, but all he got were hardened, angry faces.  
“Fine!”  
He slammed his locker and stalked off. Papyrus tried to say something, but one of the girls shook her head.   
“Papyrus, leave him. He’s not going to do you any good.”  
He watched him walk away with a sad expression, wishing there was something he could say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would probably let undyne fight me honestly? that seems like the best way to die
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com has limited time deals on gay shit and video game blogging i hear


	12. this chapter is called snerp

On the walk home, Mettaton was thanking god for the cold wind against his facial contusions. His black eye seemed to be swelling a little less, and he could almost open it without shooting pain and frustrating lack of depth perception.  
As he turned a corner, he noticed a group of kids chatting by a signpost. As soon as they saw him, they immediately quieted.  
“Isn’t that Mettaton?”  
“Oh my god, it is.”  
“That’s the guy who broke Papyrus’ heart.”  
“I heard Undyne beat the shit out of him.”  
“Sadie was there. She said she saw the whole thing, he was out cold for like an hour or something.”  
Mettaton scowled. “Don’t you know not to talk about someone who’s listening?”  
One of the girls spat at him. “Who cares, dickhead. You hurt Papyrus.”  
“And why do you give a shit?”  
“Papyrus gave my little brother his winter coats when our family couldn’t afford them.”  
“Papyrus taught me how to play guitar last year!”  
“Yeah, he made a special collar for my cat so she wouldn’t get lost if she went outside! That collar helped us find her when she got out a couple months ago!”  
The crowd had begun to advance on Mettaton, and suddenly he felt a little boxed in.  
“Okay, okay, let me just…”  
“No way. Maybe we should teach you a little lesson.”  
“Sabrina, you were on boxing team, right? You know how to rough him up.”  
“Absolutely. That black eye is looking a little weak, huh?”  
Mettaton was pressed to the wall, heart beating in his throat. Shit. This was going to hurt.  
One of the guys kicked out his knees and he fell, wincing as his knees hit the ground. One of the girls took a swing and missed, but nicked the top of his head. The next thrown punch got him square in the jaw, and he cried out.  
“Guys, leave him alone!”  
The kids turned as Papyrus came barrelling through. He was panting, glancing around.   
“Papyrus, we were just gonna-”  
“I don’t care. Nothing condones that kind of behavior.” He glanced at each of them, frowning. “Just leave.”  
Mettaton was staring at each face individually, fear creeping into his features. Papyrus offered him a hand as the other teens stalked off.  
“Are you okay?”  
He just stared at Papyrus and wiped his mouth, nodding slowly.  
“Um, you wouldn’t have some ice, would you?”  
“I just live down the street, c’mon.”  
Mettaton followed Papyrus silently, clinging to his backpack like a lifeline.  
Once they’d made it into Papyrus’ house, they took off their shoes in the mudroom, the permeating silence being broken first by Papyrus.  
“Can I get you something to drink? I think we have some tea somewhere.”  
“That’d be nice, thanks.”  
Mettaton stood awkwardly in the living room while Papyrus made tea in the kitchen.  
“Feel free to sit anywhere.” Papyrus said, bringing him an ice pack wrapped in a towel. Mettaton nodded and sat on the edge of the couch, holding the ice to his eye.  
The silence continued for a while until Mettaton spoke up.  
“That was stupid.”  
No answer.  
“You should have let them beat me up.”  
No answer. Just the sound of the kettle beginning to boil.  
“Listen to me. You’re just being stupid. Leave me alone. I’m never going to be your friend.”  
He heard the sound of Papyrus pouring the hot water into the mug, and the plop of the tea bag.  
“It’s a lost cause.”  
Still no answer as Papyrus plodded in, handing the other the mug. The side had a half-faded periodic table on it.  
“Thanks.” Mettaton glanced up to thank him, but realized that something was wrong. His lips were pressed together in a line.  
“Papyrus?”  
“Could you stop? Just for ten seconds?”  
Mettaton’s eyes widened. Holy shit.   
Was this… the breaking point?  
Papyrus’ eyes were clearly watering, though he tried really hard to hide it, shutting his eyes and wiping at them with the sleeve of his shirt pedantically.  
Mettaton couldn’t help but stare. It was like a car crash. A car crash that was all his fault and had multiple fatalities. He felt a pit forming in his stomach.  
He’d gotten exactly what he wanted. Papyrus had finally hit the breaking point.  
And holy shit, did it feel awful.  
“Papyrus…”  
“I know you’re just trying to test me. I know you’re scared of someone abandoning you once you mess up.” A sob escaped his throat. “But I’m not gonna leave. And I’m not going to insult you, or belittle you. I think you’re good. I think you can change. But god, it hurts.”  
Mettaton grabbed Papyrus’ arm and pulled him into a hug. The taller began sobbing into Mettaton’s shoulder uncontrollably, his fingers digging into the other’s shirt.  
“I’m sorry, Papyrus.” He buried his face in the curly mess of hair and went silent, sitting with the other as he cried it out.

Later that night, Sans came home to the two tangled in a tear-stained mess on the couch, both tired out and entirely contented with each other’s presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would honestly let muffet tie me up  
> not even for sexual reasons like im just cool with living in a cocoon of magical spider butt string
> 
> sburban-mom.tumblr.com has all the spider butt string you could ever want im serious


	13. epilogue of sorts

By the time Mettaton’s eye had healed, he decided he was probably alright to be back at school. Papyrus had promised he’d clear everything up and talk down Undyne (‘she’s got a soft spot for me, I know she’ll listen’) before Mettaton came back. When he did, he was greeted by Papyrus at the front door.  
“Hiya, Mettaton!”   
Mettaton stared at him for a second before breaking into a real, genuine grin.  
“Hiya, Papyrus. How are you doing?”  
“Good! I’m so glad to see you’re feeling better. I was worried for a while.”  
“Yes? What did I miss them, darling?”  
“Oh, plenty. Jack finally worked up the guts to ask out Nick, it was super cute. My dad visited, too, and he brought pictures from this cool science lab he got to work in for a while. He says he’d really love to meet you.”  
Mettaton flushed a little in the cheeks and smiled wide, leaning his head on Papyrus’ shoulder. “I hope I make a good first impression then, dear.”  
“I know you will! With your charm and charisma? You’ll be fine.”  
“You flatter me.”  
“That’s my job!”  
Mettaton laughed and pecked the other’s cheek. “Aren’t you sweet.”  
“I try.”  
Papyrus chattered to him all the way down the hallway. He instinctively hid in the other’s arm a little bit, worrying that people would be giving him dirty looks. Luckily, nobody really seemed to notice or care. If anything, people seemed to be nothing but positive about it.   
At Papyrus’ locker, Mettaton watched him get his stuff together and smiled a little.  
“Did you hear? I get to be an extra in the school play.”  
“Aw, only an extra? You could play the lead.”  
“But Papyrus, there’s so much more room for interpretation as Townsperson #3! I’ve decided- he’s got a tragic past, rife with struggle. His wife was a member of the mafia, and she left years ago, only to return shortly before the events of the play. He’s been drinking himself silly ever since he found out he has an illegitimate child with one of the barmaids.”  
“You’re too clever for your own good, Mettaton.”  
“I do try my best, ah, by the way, I’ve missed quite a bit of chemistry class in my absence. Would you mind helping me study tonight?”  
“Not at all! What are you guys working on?”  
“Nothing really. Just temperature and its effects on molecules.”  
“Oh, yeah! Kelvin stuff, right? What’s that thing called when the molecules stop moving?”  
“Absolute zero, dear.”  
“Oh, right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, children, it's been fun
> 
> want sequels and spinoffs? come let me know at sburban-mom.tumblr.com  
> i already have a couple in the works ;)
> 
> specifically one with a roadtrip! all the stupid cliche you could want!  
> all in one place. love and kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you liked this, leave a comment and/or kudos for more similar things!


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